


Eclipse

by Eve1978



Category: Destroyer (2018), Sebastian Stan - Fandom
Genre: Character Death, Character Death Fix, Comfort/Angst, DON'T EVEN READ THE TAGS, Destroyer - Freeform, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Heavy Angst, I mean it, Spoilers for Destroyer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-30 05:17:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17822615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eve1978/pseuds/Eve1978
Summary: I started out with the idea of keeping this fic spoiler free so everybody could read it but I quickly found out that wouldn’t allow me to tell the story I wanted to tell so I had to step away from that.If you don’t care about spoilers you can read this fic without having seen the movie, it stands on its own. Those who have seen the movie will just pick up on some things and details more.There’s no summary this time, I wouldn’t really know where to start without spoiling my own story, so you’ll have to trust me and go in blind.This was written quickly so go easy on me and if you find any mistakes point them out to me, please ;)Note: My loyal readers know I never include contraceptives in my fics, because this is fantasy and I assume people are mature enough to know this stuff (and I’m also a very lazy writer when it comes to this)In reality though, especially when having sex with someone who has/had multiple sexual partners like Reader in this fic always use protection, kids!





	Eclipse

 

_**** _

_**-Now-** _

_“Do you love me?”_

You could have lied. It would have been so easy, you’d been lying your whole life, what’s another lie to another man? It was almost second nature to you now, keep up the mask, don’t let them see underneath, just play your part. 

But not with him.

His eyes were soft, his body warm, naked against yours, fingers leaving goosebumps as they trailed down your skin.

You _should_ have lied, then nothing would have had to change, but you were naive in that moment, too honest under his sincere blue eyes.

“Yes.”

There was no time to read his reaction because his lips were on yours instantly, kissing you, over and over, until you both had to come up for air.

Then he leaned back with a heavy sigh,”You should have lied.”

You shut him up with another kiss, wrapping your body around his like an anchor, clinging, desperate to hold him right there in the bed with you. 

He went with it and took you into his arms, sighing heavily,”You know how this ends…we can’t……I can’t….you’ll get hurt.”

”I’ve been hurt plenty, I can take it.”

“Not by me,” his voice was weak, his kisses still hungry.

This time you were the first to break away and you looked into his eyes, returning the question,”Do you love me?”

His answer came in the form of another kiss, his breath warm on your lips,”Yes…I love you, I love you.”

Your heart soared, but it didn’t matter and you both knew it.

You kissed him for as long as he allowed you. When he pulled back this time you knew it was over.

“I have to go, I just…I have to go,” his voice was close to breaking. You were already past that point.

“No,” you clung to him with tears welling up in your eyes,” _No_!”

“I have to,” he stressed and pushed you back onto the bed.

Your hand reached for his,”Chris?”

He stopped moving at the mention of his name, a trigger to quiet his mind, one last desperate attempt to keep him here.

“Stay, please,” you begged,”If you love me you’ll stay, please, do this for me.”

His lips curled into a sad smile,”I _am_ doing this for you.”

***

**- _Then_ -**

His hands were warm on your lower back, fingers digging into your naked skin while he held you down on his cock. 

His thrusts were slow, sinking into your wet heat with a little more determination each time. Just a little faster, a little deeper, finding that exact spot where he knew you needed him the most.

You moaned his name. Or at least what he told you his name was. Last week it was James but this week he had chosen to go by Sebastian. It didn’t matter.

He reached for your neck, fingers hot, rings cold as his hand wrapped around your throat, pulling your body down on top of his.

He was breathing heavily when he pushed his forehead against yours, not giving you what you craved just yet. Breathing you in while his lips gently brushed yours, keeping you right where he wanted you, needy and desperate and almost begging for it. 

Almost. You weren’t going to beg until he asked you to. 

He decided what happened in here, not you, you were just here for his entertainment. He paid you, you fucked, he left. That was all it would ever be.

After another round of teasing his lips finally crashed down on yours in a sloppy kiss, all tongue and hunger, ending with him moaning into your mouth,”Ride me, baby, take what you need, it’s all yours…”

His words added fuel to your fire and you could feel your orgasm starting to build. Your fingers reached down to touch your clit but he was quick to slap your hand away and take over, his thumb rubbing circles until you started clenching around him. 

“Yeah, just like that, sweetheart,” his voice was soft velvet against your skin, making you want him more, closer, deeper.

“F-uck, yes, don’t stop,” you whimpered.

”Take me with you,” he moaned shamelessly,”Make me cum, baby…I’m so close…I want…fuck…yeah…”

His incoherent words were followed by a growl and your back arched as you rode him through it, a silent scream on your lips when your own orgasm hit.

He wrapped both arms around you, clinging with his entire body after you both reached your climax.

“God, fuck, you’re so good to me,” he then whispered, lips curling up into a sweet little smile,”So fucking good to me, baby.”

He was the smoothest talker you’d ever met, in fact you were sure he’d be able to make you cum without ever touching you, just whispering those filthy little things in your ear again and again until your body had to choice but to surrender.

It hadn’t always been like this, it had taken him a while to feel comfortable around you.

His first time had been quick, unmemorable and too rushed. You could tell right away when he stepped into your room that night he’d never done anything like that before.  
Every part of him looked like it didn’t belong. Every muscle in his perfectly toned body had been tense, even after his cum was all over you. 

You two barely exchanged words that night, he never looked you in the eyes either, not even when he said his goodbye, awkwardly, and left you money on the night stand, more than he owed you. 

He always left you more than he owed you.

Shame wasn’t something new, you’d seen it on a lot of clients over the years, it didn’t really mean anything. Their life outside of this room was none of your business, neither was the reason they came to you. You didn’t care what it was as long as they paid and followed the rules.

You hadn’t expected to see him again after that night but one week later he stood at your door again, still a little hesitant but less ashamed of it. 

His eyes met yours this time as he asked if you were free that night. Since then he had become a regular. A favorite. 

The man that would break your heart, but you didn’t know that at the time.

He was pretty, you never noticed it the first time and later you wouldn’t understand how you’d missed it. 

Pretty boy all dirtied up with big tattoos and a bad haircut, always smoking and carrying the smell of weed with him everywhere he went. He looked like all the bad boys your mother warned you about, a perfect poster boy for everything a good girl shouldn’t want.

But there was something wrong with his picture, something that didn’t fit.

His tattoos looked too new and his teeth were too clean for someone who smoked all the time.

You should have seen it right then and there.

***

“Hey, whatcha thinking about?” he softly moved a lock of hair behind your ear, giving you a warm smile. You were both passed out on the bed, still a little hazy in post orgasmic bliss.

“Nothin’,” you deflected.

“You’re still trying to read me, huh?” he asked,” I told you not to do that.”

You smiled and leaned in, putting a soft kiss on his lips to shut him up. His arm snaked around your waist and he pulled you closer, deepening the kiss and sighing against your lips.“I only paid for one more hour, I can’t stay.”

There was regret in his voice and you gave him a little smile before freeing yourself from his embrace to crawl in between his legs

“There’s a lot I can do in one hour,” your hands caressed his thighs while your tongue found the head of his cock.

***

Some nights he begged you to make him forget, other nights he begged you to help him remember. 

You never knew which one it was going to be beforehand.

He changed during those first few months, grew more anxious and weary. Some nights he’d gone back to his default quiet setting from when you first met, not uttering a single word while he fucked you and then fell asleep next to you in the bed.

One night he stood in front of your door, blood on his jacket and cuts all over his hands and face.

“I’m sorry,” he wiped his lip with the back of his hand,”Am I interrupting anything? I can leave if you…”

“I don’t have a client tonight, I’m free,” you reassured him.

“Can I…I just need a place to crash for the night, I’ll pay you.”

You opened the door to let him step in.“I’d ask what happened but I’ll never get an answer out of you, will I?”

He just gave you a look and sighed while he rubbed his shoulder and twisted his face in pain.

“You probably need a doctor,” you stated.

“I’ll be fine, just need to sleep it off.”

“You’re not sleeping in my bed like that, shower first,” you helped him take off his jacket and pushed him towards the bathroom.

Just as you were about to close the door behind him he grabbed your hand and locked eyes with you.

“Join me,” he asked softly,” Please.”

You’d helped clean him up, washed the blood off of him and kissed his wounds, he thanked you by slowly fucking you against the shower wall until you screamed in pure bliss. 

He was needy that night, wouldn’t stop touching you even after you’d fucked three times. Insatiable, like he always was, he couldn’t get enough of you. 

The feeling was mutual.

You usually had a rule that stated no kissing with clients but that rule flew out the window the first moment his lips touched yours. You’d never craved a man’s kisses the way you craved his.

So you didn’t mind, you let him cuddle up to you, and you initiated the kisses, ignoring that feeling in the pit of your stomach that told you this was a bad idea and you were getting too close.

He had told you several times before. “Don’t start caring about me now, I’m just another thug.”

But he wasn’t, you knew he wasn’t. 

You’d seen it in his eyes that night, fear. Undeniable, naked fear. Whatever happened to him that night scared the shit out of him and it put a cold chill all across your heart.

****

“Where did you get those?”

His fingers gently trailed over a bruise on your left arm, worry in his voice as his eyes met yours.

“It’s nothing, just a client that got carried away a bit,” you waved away his concern.

“You sure?” he asked.

“I’m sure,” you gave him a smile hoping to reassure him.

“Because you don’t need to be seeing clients who do that to you. If you need money I…”

“I don’t need money,” you interrupted him and he swallowed the rest of his sentence.

“Okay,” he then whispered and placed a featherlight kiss on the bruise.

His lips were warm and soft and you wanted his mouth on yours, you always wanted his mouth.

“I could rough him up a little if you want,” he then suggested, making you smile.

“I don’t need a knight in shining armor to save me from the bad guys.”

“Well, good, cause I’m not that guy.”

“You are _totally_ that guy,” you rolled your eyes and he smiled before wrapping an arm around you and pulling you close.

“I just wanna keep you safe,” he then whispered into your ear, his tone firm and protective and in that moment you wanted him to be that prince on the white horse that was going to take you away from all of this.

But he was no prince and you stopped believing in fairytales long ago. 

***

He was a cop, undercover and in way over his head. It took you over a year to figure it out but once you had all the pieces of the puzzle finally came together.

That’s why he wouldn’t give you his real name, that’s why his accent came and went, that’s why the way he looked didn’t match with the man you had come to know so well. 

He was kind, gentle, sensitive, caring but also strong and dominant, funny or melancholic depending on the day.

Your room was his safe haven, probably one of the only places he could let his guard down. 

That’s why he came to you, to have a few hours a week where he didn’t have to keep up with the charade. To keep himself sane, to be reminded of who he was before all this. 

Before this character he created would swallow him hole and leave nothing left of the man underneath.

***

“What’s your name?” you asked while your fingers traced down his happy trail, playing with the little hairs until he shivered.

“I already told you.”

“Yes, you did, it’s Sebastian, or Jack, or Steve, or _Carter,”_ you rolled your eyes at the last one.

He just smiled and took your hand in his, lifted it up to his lips to put a soft kiss on your skin,”It’s just a name, what does it matter?”

You sighed but nodded your head,”You can’t tell me, I understand.”

He stayed quiet for a few moments, still holding your hand in his.

“It’s Chris,” he then whispered,”My name is Chris.”

You looked at him and tilted your head,”Huh…really? You don’t look like a Chris at all.”

”Yeah, I get that a lot,” he smiled.

You cupped his cheek and returned his smile before whispering softly,”Thank you.”

He leaned into your touch and closed his eyes. Your heart melted. It wasn’t supposed to do that, he was a client, he came here to get fucked, not to be loved.

Love was out of the question.

But the soft look in his blue eyes made you doubt everything.

“It’s Chris,” he then repeated, as if to not only remind you but also himself.

“Chris,” you spoke the word softy,”I like it.”

***

He wasn’t the first cop to come visit you over the years, and while you couldn’t be sure you suspected he wasn’t the first undercover one to come see you either. 

This town was known for its drug traffic and criminal activity, gangs pretty much roamed around freely. Nobody that wasn’t born here would ever choose to live here. 

Life had never been much about choice for you.

You talked to Chris about your suspicions only once, he had laughed it off immediately and you never asked again. What was the point? If he was he could never tell you anyway.

You knew though, and ever since you’d asked him that question he knew you knew too. It was left unspoken between the two of you, like so many other things.

You also knew what it meant. He wasn’t here to stay.

One day, maybe soon or maybe months or years from now he would stop coming around.

He would disappear to go back to the life he came from and the people he knew before and you’d be nothing but a reminder of a job.

That was if he was lucky enough to get to go back to that life, if he was unlucky there could be a worse fate awaiting him.

***

“Why do you do it?”

His question made you look up,” Do what?”

“This job,” he asked while letting his ringed fingers play with your hair. You were both spread out on the bed, limbs still entangled, catching your breath and coming down from yet another high.

You shrugged your shoulders.

“You’re smart, and kind, and funny,” he pointed out,”There must be other options for you out there. Why this?”

“I could ask you that same question.”

He smiled but ignored your words and looked into your eyes, waiting for an answer.

“It’s the only thing I’m good at,” you then answered.

“That can’t be true.”

“Okay, it’s the only thing I’m good at that will get me paid,” you added,”And it’s not exactly like this town is built on opportunities, we do what we have to do.”

His eyes met yours in a serious look.“Yeah, we do,” he whispered and then looked away, his thoughts suddenly miles away.

“Hey,” you reached out to cup his face and leaned in to capture his lips in a long lingering kiss, pulling him back into the moment and keeping him there.

_“Stay with me.”_

¨***

Your days had become nothing more but time that passed, waiting for him. The moments you spent in his arms, with him buried deep inside you, that’s when you truly felt alive. 

***

“Why didn’t you tell me it was your birthday?” 

You shrugged,”I don’t celebrate birthdays, why would I celebrate being one year closer to death? It’s such a fucking weird tradition.”

He laughed at that and then moved from his position next to you on the bed to settle in between your legs.

“It’s not about death, it’s about the years you’ve lived and what you’ve done with them,” he pointed out,”the people you’ve touched, helped, loved.”

“Still not much to celebrate there, buddy,” you sighed.

He smiled and then moved down lower, pushing up your top to kiss your stomach.

“What are you doin’?”

“Giving you your birthday present,” he smirked.

You opened your mouth to speak but the moment his tongue pressed against your clit there was nothing left to say.

***

He never looked more beautiful than he did in those first rays of morning sun peeking through the curtains. Eyes soft as they met yours, lips searching for more sweet kisses, lingering, stalling the moment you both dreaded.  
Him turning around in the bed, away from you and out of your life again, taking the light with him and leaving you in the dark.

Lately the thought of losing him kept you up at night. A wave of turmoil hit the town these past weeks, there were more petty crimes than usual, a drive by shooting ended up with 2 cops in hospital and last week a gang fight destroyed an entire bar and killed 3 people. 

The entire town was on edge, gangs and cops alike, and he was right in the middle of it, the worst spot to be.

There was nothing you could say, nothing you could do, he wasn’t yours to worry about.

***

“Do you remember what you wanted to be when you were a kid?”

He blew out the smoke from his cigarette and looked at you, lips curling into a smile at your question. Your head was resting on his chest while his fingers played with your hair.

“Yeah, I do actually,” he responded,”I wanted to be a teacher, or a doctor, or a paramedic. I wanted to help people, I never really thought about the details much just…anything that made a difference in the world, I guess.”

You looked up to meet his eyes.

“What about you?” he then asked.

“I wanted to marry rich and get out of this town,” you answered truthfully and he smiled and kissed your forehead.

“Could still happen,” he smiled.

“Nah, but it’s cool, I’ve accepted my fate,” you sighed and hugged him closer.

You both lay in silence for a while after that, his heartbeat calm under your ear, you could have fallen asleep like that.

“It’s hard to remember, isn’t it?” he then asked,”Being a kid, having this whole life ahead of you, so many choices to make and yet you worry about none of them and now…every step you take could lead you down the wrong path and you’re so aware of it all the time.”

“Yeah,” you whispered.

It was the first time he’d been open with you about his fear and anxiety and your heart was hurting for him.

“It’s never too late to turn back though,” you spoke,”Nothing is written in the stars, Chris, you can get back on the right path anytime you want.”

He stayed quiet and then whispered,”I’ve drifted off too far.”

You didn’t know what to say to him, you wanted to offer him all the words of comfort he needed but you didn’t have them. Your own path had been long chosen for you as well, there was no other way.

He pulled you up in his arms and kissed you, softly first and then more hungry before he whispered against your lips,”Fuck me, fuck me like it’s the last time and none of this matters.”

You climbed on top of him and pushed him down on the bed while grinding up against him. He was already hard, rocking back against you, the head of his cock slipping into you with ease, back where it belonged, deep inside you.

“Make me forget,” he begged and bit down on your shoulder.

***

You were in the diner around the corner when the news came on the tv. Bank robbery gone wrong, two culprits wounded, three employees and one FBI agent dead.

_One FBI agent dead._

The words put a cold chill all over your body. There were no more details released, it could have been anybody, you knew that. In this town, there was bound to be more than one undercover operation in progress. 

But you could feel it in your bones, it was him. You didn’t need to hear more details, it was him.

He’d missed your last appointment, three days ago now, and you hadn’t seen or heard from him since. Not since you told him you loved him and he’d said it back to you.

The memory of that night now made you spill tears all over your breakfast.

He’d warned you, tried to protect you from it but you didn’t want to hear it. You were stupid for getting involved with him to begin with, you should have ended it as soon as you started to feel for him.

He’d known all along, how it would end. There was no other ending than the one with you in tears.

***

**_-Now-_ **

The world was dark now. It rained for days that week, and you welcomed it, it was only right that the world would mourn him too.

You missed his voice, his hands, his mouth, every little thing that made him who he was.

Days passed by in a haze, you took on more clients than usual, anything to keep busy and not think about him. At night you drank until you passed out, the only relief left now was sleep.

The sadness was all consuming, it seemed to never end and part of you didn’t want it to. You didn’t want to forget what he looked like or how he made you feel. No matter how painful it was to think about that now you desperately needed to hold onto the memory of him.

***

The knock on the door was soft but it was enough to wake you. You quickly put on jeans and a t-shirt and stumbled to the door.

You forgot what day it was, they were all the same now anyway so who cared.

The light shining in when you opened the door blinded you and you had to cover your eyes at first.

“What is it?” you asked impatient and lowered your hand.

He wore a red plaid shirt, no rings on his fingers, no cigarette in his mouth and no tattoos. His hair had grown a little, so had the beard. The soft blue eyes and the smile hadn’t changed.

You cried and couldn’t stop. He pulled you into his arms and kissed you, your tears mingling with his as he hugged you so close it got hard to breathe.

You sobbed out his name again and again and you clung to him, making sure he was real and this wasn’t just another dream you would soon wake up from. 

“Are you here?” you whispered in tears.

“I’m here,” he breathed,”I’m here, baby. I got held up, I’m so sorry.”

You shook your head and kissed him, slowly and softly, before looking into his eyes,”Are you staying?”

“No, the job is done and I…I’m going back home.”

Your heart sank. 

Of course, this was the other ending. With him alive and well but you still in tears. He didn’t come back for you, he came to say goodbye.

“Okay,” you whispered as more tears fell but he quickly wiped them away with his thumbs, cupping your face and giving you a smile.

“Do you love me?” he then asked softly.

“You know I do,” you cried.

“Then come with me, please, let’s leave this fucking hellhole and never look back.”

You sank into his arms to cry even more tears and he held you through every single one of them.

“Yes,” you then smiled,”Fuck, yes.” 


End file.
